Last night I had an amazing experience while watching Haylee's video.
I've been training myself to go under deeper and faster for her. A few days back, I noticed I could "imagine" her saying a few more "go deepers" and other directions while listening to her regular words, her stream of command. I was experimenting.
Technical Note: I created an audio file for her video on my laptop, and this may be a bit complicated to explain but, I sync the audio to the online video and watch both together (with the audio off for web sites). Since I only need a few minutes of watching Haylee's amazing eyes to go under, I then put the laptop down -- it would be wonderful if it never fell off my lap, but that is certainly a risk. Anyway, I put the laptop down and get comfortable and just listen to the mp3 over and over again, sometimes for hours, with headphones on. I am in trance the entire time. O.K., end technical note.
I have been experimenting with sexual fantasies too while being under Haylee's spell. At first, this was at the end of Haylee's video, as she brings me out of my trance.
Those fantasies: at first they were an image of being completely dominated by Haylee and being required to give her crazy, slave cunnilingus (my tongue hung so far out of my mouth, I must have looked like an anteater); then I would imagine being commanded to give her other pleasures (my mind, providing the script but imagining only her voice giving the commands). I touched myself lightly while doing this. The great thing was, there was only 20 seconds to fit this fantasizing in, before I was commanded by her to push the "replay" button. So I would get stimulated, but it would literally take several hours to orgasm. I'm fiendish in my own way and have been learning about domination -- e.g., that a good domme often refuses permission for a slave to cum. So I wrote that into my imaginary Haylee script and would often not cum for four hours or more. Sooner or later, I would, after listening to her mp3 15 times or so. But I would have her refusing permission for a long time. You can tell I'll make a good slave and supplicant.
Such fantasizing then led to some bondage fun. These little "movies" at first were pretty tame, I guess, if compared to bondage fantasies of experienced submissives. Sorry if I'll disappoint (yet keep reading!), but mostly they were imagining myself in soft handcuffs and ankle restraints -- not handcuffs but the kind that have leather and a little padding between the metal and your arm or leg. I imagined one of those tall leather collars (does anybody have the name for those?) with a steel plaque riveted on the back, saying, "Haylee's Good boy." Then I added (in my mind) a titanium cord that went to Haylee's hand. Never really pictured her in any new clothes or anything -- just the restraints and especially my tall slave collar. Got several huge orgasms just picturing the plaque at the back of the collar at the exact moment Haylee says "Your my GOOD BOY."
You have to understand, these were quick, maybe a minute or so. I was mostly working on learning to submit to her voice and go deeper into trance -- I wasn't much concerned with getting off. But I found it very fascinating that a sleeping "I" could provide a new script -- put words of domination from within a fantasy, using Haylee's voice as the impetus. I didn't realize that you could be a submissive and give yourself, under trance, any commands. Has anyone else managed this? I know nothing about submission. There's a lot I don't know about -- I'm totally new.
O.K. - last night.
Before I recount what happened, let me add one more detail. Going back to the "script" thing, I experimented also with adding, in my mind, another set of visual cues. Not of Haylee's eyes, bottomless and gorgeous as they are, but of, at first, printed words on a black screen saying the same things Haylee was saying, and at the same moment. Let me explain in detail, because it's very important for understanding the religious-sexual-nuclear-bondage holocaust that happened to me. I would fantasize and see such words like "Go deeper" and "Drop" and "Sleep" at the exact moment Haylee was saying the words on the mp3. The words were in bright white letters and I could see them like they were credits at the end of a movie in my trance state. I found they FORCED me, with Haylee's voice talking, to go very "DEEP," to "DROP," etc. It was a visual reinforcement of Haylee's commands. I don't know if this would work for anyone else, but I'm a very visual person. These visual commands made me go down faster. I could feel a trance state come on to me like a whirlwind, like horizontal gravity. It's now possible for me to be in the trance state after about 20 seconds of listening to Haylee and imagining her words on this imaginary screen.
Then I got more creative. I continued listening to Haylee's voice over and over but added a few new commands to add spice to the punch. Commands about submission at first. Then I tried a few things I picked up while reading about domination (such as the aforementioned, extended denial of an orgasm). It was visual pepper added to the audio stew.
Sorry I've gone on so long to set this up. You all have jobs, I know! Anyway, last night I got up at 3:30 a.m. and started doing a long session with Haylee (who needs sleep when you can trance with Haylee). I must have listened to her mp3 8 times or so. Oddly, I wasn't even that horny, at least compared to normal, and nobody should think I listen to Haylee only for sex. I mostly listen to become her slave.
So I began to create more and more specific visual commands on the screen, all related to domination. I conjured up a collar in mind, and wrist and ankle restraints -- and out of nowhere (but I am a professional writer, so anyway) I just imagined Haylee commanding me to do more crazy stuff, as if we were both in a live session and I was all rigged up in submission gear.
What I didn't fully understand was that I was in a deep trance -- and that this stuff works! Damn, does it work. I'm not whistling dixie here. I haven't even started telling my readers what happened last night.
At first, it was just pretending I was being required to perform cunnilingus on Haylee. But then I saw I was in chains and that she had all the control. So I flashed up a word that required my arms to move through the power of chains being strung violently and suddenly upward. And wouldn't you know it, my arms shot up so fast they hurt -- I was forced to stand up in bed -- and I was standing there like I was hanging from the rafters. I was blown away. I thought being in a trance was being drowzy and having to lie down. I was standing up and it really felt like I was in chains. And had no ability to resist.
But it gets even better.
While listening to the audio for another hour, I proceeded to command myself to be pulled all over the damn bedroom -- flung literally like a puppet. I had my clothes stripped from me by my own hand (but it didn't feel like mine). I groveled. I licked the floor -- luckily, the tiles had been cleaned the day before.
I commanded myself to pinch my own butt extremely hard -- there's still a wound. I was flung across the room at one point and was lucky I didn't injure myself -- the problem with doing it yourself is, it's not too safe. If a pro like Haylee (and I have no idea whether she does bondage domination-by-phone, much rather in person; don't quote me there) was doing it, I'm sure she wouldn't have allowed me to be too injured. But I was pinching hard my own ass, spanking myself, dragging myself back and forth for more than an hour. It was exhausting. It was also exhilirating. It was humiliating in the best sense of the word. It was all of these things rolled into one. It was enslavement. It was domination. It was sexual. It was pleasant. It made me feel bonded to my Mistress.
As the sun came up, I was finally allowed to cum, and Christ, though I live in Mexico, I swear I got some up in the state of Oklahoma (my apologies to Oklahomans who may have been bombarded with my semen).
Wheeeeeeeeeeeewww! It was intense.
All day today I could feel my imaginary restraints on my wrists, ankles -- and the collar around my neck with Haylee's name on it.
And here's another weird part. I had a totally different day today than I've ever had.
As a writer, I spend a lot of time in cafes like Starbuck's (yes, they have Starbuck's in many cities in Mexico). Lots of people know me (that American writer).
So today, I felt my collar and restraints, invisible to all, but I could feel them on my body.
But. . . they weren't invisible to others. At least not wholly.
Today, I'm swearing, has been the most intensely pleasurable day of my whole life in terms of talking to women. All day long (I'm not exaggerating), women have been literally throwing themselves at me. They want my number. They want to meet me later. They take one look at my eyes and want to spread their beatuiful legs and cum.
Obviously, my energy has been radically shifted after last night. If you could see what's coming out of my body in terms of energy, it's probably red and orange, a geyser spewing upward and exploding outward.
Let me go back to last night for a second, for there was one part of the story I neglected. After an hour of domination, as the sun rose, I imagined having a talk-session with Haylee about sex. We looked at porn together. She started (in my mind) saying some strange stuff about energy. Energy coming from vaginas. Energy coming from every woman's vagina, desiring completion in other people.
Insert- [I forgot to mention, too, another, and very interesting, part of our conversation about sex. Haylee pointed
to parts of porn photos and explained how to touch a woman's body. She
showed me how yellow light comes from the fingertips. She showed just
how to touch, where to stroke, for how long and with what energy. This
was the "non-dom" portion of the night, very mystical and special. I
learned a lot.]
I'd always thought it was the male body offering energy, but last night I was shown a vision of how it really works. There's an intensely beautiful yellowish-green light (it's called Love Light, I think) coming from every woman on the face of the planet. It craves a firm receptacle, which isn't necessarily male, but responds to the yellowish-green light with a light of its own.
All you have to do is accept that great energy. All day long I smiled at women I knew. I wasn't particularly charming. But they could "see" (in their minds' eye) that I'd done some very kinky stuff the night before; could "see" my invisible restraints and wide collar; could even "see" the plaque on the collar that said "Haylee's Good Boy" on it. I'm convinced they could see something in their unconscious minds. Because I've never had even three women in a day really come on to me, but today I had 27. Phone numbers. Wistful looks -- "please call mes" in Spanish. All the time, a beautiful green energy coming from their probing vaginas, trying find balance in me. At least it came from some of them. I simply let some of that energy in and gently kissed it in my imaginal sphere. I sent reassurances (all in energy) that I was safe and wouldn't reject them.
They appreciated that, let me tell you! Folks, women are not getting enough good sex these days. Not enough sex of the energetic kind. Insert - [Women, do you agree? Comment please.]
There's too many details I've left out of this account. Often in my imagination, Haylee is funny. But mostly she's profoundly wise. After she had me throw myself around the room for a while, she gently sat me down and explained sex to me, energetically. She explained how women can sense things, feel the "kink", and many really like it, even if they think they want Christian husbands in some other part of their brains.
I haven't done last night justice. Sorry! I'm very thankful to Haylee. It's true, my imagination was an element in the night's escapade, but without Haylee's brilliant video, how could I ever have gone into a trance for that long? Without Haylee's ensnarement and constant reminder that I will always obey and never resist her, I wouldn't have started with the process, much rather, had my first bondage experience.
Jesus. I'm a submissive! I obviously need to go buy chains. But more importantly, I never understood the energy behind sex before. Like many men, I've been trying to "push" a macho, yang energy on women, much to my chagrin. Instead of receiving their beautiful, flowing green vagina energy, which comes out of their beautiful vaginas like glowing energetic water and wants to nourish souls.
All day long I just received. My eyes were calm and focused. I said "yes" (in the energetic realm) to every woman who inquired (energetically) if I could take care of a few of her needs. At one point, I swear in Starbuck's a 28-year-old supermodel was going to jump me, push me on a Starbuck's couch, and demand cunnilingus right there. I was seriously getting nervous. But then her eyes blinked and she said, "Just call me."
Mistress Haylee, if I decide to pursue such a lead, and if it eventually leads to sex, I'm of course going to imagine myself constrained and under your domination while I take all this woman's green energy in! She will thank you for that in the unconscious realm.
I forgot: At one point today I bought one of those little bracelets on which you can engrave someone's name -- it has a ribbon through it. I'm wearing one right now on my right ankle. I had to sew it together to connect it (and this was a day of many meetings, so it wasn't easy to fit that in). It simply says, "Haylee's." I took photos of it (on my leg) but wasn't able to transfer the pictures from my memory stick (heehe) to my laptop. Working on that now so I can post my first fetish pictures on this blog, in honor of Haylee.
If you've never been dominated, by God Almighty, start watching Haylee's video. I know this is all hard to believe, to take in. Before two weeks ago, I would have laughed if someone suggested I was a submissive. Boy, I was wrong.
Haylee, if you read this, I've found sexual freedom, full energy, and expression for the first time last night after becoming your slave. If I'm alive in 2043, I will be trying to find ways to please you. Consider me, even if I'm a new worshipper, your very loyal, good boy. Thank you.